Monday, March 17, 2014

Assholes of Indian History

How a penis managed to change the course of Indian history - (Part - One)

Humans are mere witnesses of divine interventions. Hi-story is filled with such bizarre incidents and shitty developments. Now, let me tell you the story of a foreskin, which managed to change the history of India, once and for all.
It all started with a diplomatically ridiculous move by Dahir, the king of Sindh. No one can actually pin the consequence on Dahir, because it is quite natural to have an intolerant curiosity about the peculiarities of the neighbors, even in this modern world. One day, when Dahir was swimming in Indus, he saw one handsome man on the other side, bathing without even a single strand of cloth. He was fair and tall, with broad chest and thick beard. As many of the history students have guessed by now, it was Mr. Hijjaj, the viceroy of Baghdad.
King Dahir looked at this man's manhood again and again with amusement. It wasn't the size, but the absence of foreskin that made Dahir's balls bulge out (eyeballs).... The king was pretty surprised and wanted to know more about this strange character of neighborhood penis. King Dahir summoned all the nobles to his court and asked them to peel out this penis issues. Though there were some arguments about the hands of evil spirits on the penis, an elder member told him about the ceremony of circumcision.
The story of skinless penis made him curious about the internal affairs of the people on the other bank of Indus. In an intention to know more about this, he captured a ship, filled with Muslim soldiers and citizen. There were many children, women, and wounded soldiers returning from holy Jihad war. Some dorky historians also say about the precious gifts on board, which was sent to Caliph by other kings. I personally don't think Dahir had any intent to touch the valuable gifts wrapped for Caliph, other than unwrapping the foreskin issue.
However, the capture of innocent civilians made Caliphate angry. Blood began to heat up, and the manliness of Hijjaj started to throb up.. (to be continued)

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